Jab we met!!!
Jab We Met!!!
Seven years ago, I was at a stage, where I had to take decisions about my career and my life. I had to decide about what next – do I go abroad for further studies or do I get married.
I was in awe of all my friends, who went to the US or the UK for further studies. One part of me felt that I should follow suit. I had even started the admission process and GRE and TOEFL exam preparation. I did get above average marks in both and received a reply from most universities to apply. However, something in me felt that this was not for me. Something else was in store for me. This something else was going to change my life forever.
My parents, constantly reminded me that the last part of their duty was about to end. They had to get me married. According to them, if I waited any longer, it would be difficult to find me a suitable match. I was unsure of whether I wanted to go through the arranged marriage procedures. Something inside me told me that there was somebody waiting for me. My innermost desire was to meet this person.
Around this time, just three – four days before the year 2000 ended, Karen a friend from my social work college invited me to Goa to party and welcome the New Year in the Goan way. My parents, who usually refrain from giving me permission on such occasions readily agreed and I was on a bus to Goa on the 29 December night.
Having reached Goa the following day, Karen said, “Chetan wants to take you out on a date. He has to attend a Goan wedding and wants you to accompany him. If you say yes, he will pick you up in the evening.”
I had never been to a Goan wedding and the thought of going for one excited me. Moreover, I was curious about Chetan. I had met Chetan a few months ago in my hometown (Pune). I had to send Karen application packets of some of the universities I had decided not to apply to and since Chetan was due to visit my hometown; we decided that I could send it through him.
Chetan was visiting Pune then for the sole purpose of ‘meeting the perfect match.’ His maternal aunt had arranged for him to meet prospective wives. A couple of his friends had joined him on the pretext of seeing Pune.
My meeting with Chetan lasted for only about five minutes then. I handed the application packets and he gave me a bottle of wine saying Karen had sent it for me.
We did exchange a few emails after our meeting when he requested Karen for my email id. Our interaction over emails had increased after we realized that we shared the same birthday.
As planned Chetan came to pick me up at Karen’s house in Consaulim. He was in his office uniform – a crisp white shirt, dark blue trousers. He took off his sunglasses as he walked in. His eyes mesmerized me. My heart skipped a beat. I could hear the bells ringing. Probably, I had the same effect on him as we continued gazing at each other, until we heard Karen say, “Guys you are going to get late.”
He took me to his home, as he wanted to change from his uniform. As I entered his building, I saw the Gurkha smile at me, a neighbour said hello and his maid kept grinning and staring at me.
We both got along very well. We spoke about our families, our college life, our ambitions, our hobbies, our likes and dislikes. I felt completely at home with him. I wanted time to stand still. He was by my side through out the wedding and kept enquiring whether I was comfortable. He introduced me to all his friends and acquaintances.
After, the wedding reception party, a few of his friends including Karen decided to go for the Bacardi Blast. I had no choice but to join in. I did not have the right clothes for dancing nor was I in a mood for it. All I wanted was to spend time with Chetan. Though I did not dance much, I watched Chetan dance.
His friends shared that they had known him for about three years and this was the first time they had seen him dancing. They teased me for being the cause of such behaviour in Chetan. One of his friends said in his Goan English accent, “what have you done man, to our Chetan?”
The next day was the last day of the year 2000. Karen and a few of her friends decided to go to Emerald Lawns to ring in the New Year. Chetan was to join us there along with a few of his friends. I reached a long before Chetan did and could not keep my eyes off the entrance. My eyes kept searching for Chetan. It had passed 12:00pm, everyone was wishing each other a very happy new year, and I was already two beers down, a bit tipsy and feeling gloomy. Sensing that I was missing Chetan, Karen called him up. My face lit up on hearing that he was just about to enter.
I rushed toward him as I saw him enter. I saw him grinning at me looking very handsome in a navy blue suit. He apologized for being late and asked me whether I wanted a drink. I had another beer and he went in for rum and coke. He asked whether I wanted to dance. Since they were playing slow numbers and it was couple’s round, I agreed. We must have danced in each other’s arms until about 5:00 in the morning, when Karen came up and said, “hey dear, time to leave.”
Karen’s cousin Eric dropped me at Chetan’s place later in the evening. We chatted and joked about the party. He shared that he had never danced in the past as he felt he had two left legs.
With the song “Bheegi Bheegi Raatos Mein” playing in the background, our conversation gradually drifted to future plans and he asked me about what I wanted to do in future. I said, “Until yesterday, I was planning to go to the US for further studies. However, today, I am not sure.” He asked me whether I was in any relationship and whether I had plans to get married.
I surprised myself, by saying, “I am not young anymore. I am not interested in having a boyfriend. If I get into a relationship, it is for keeps. I will only consider marriage proposals.”
The very next moment, he surprised me by popping the Question. I heard him say, “Will you marry me?” Spontaneously, I replied in the affirmative.
About half an hour later, he was on the phone talking to his mother who lived in Jamshedpur. He said, “Aai, your bahu (daughter in Law) is sitting right next to me. Do you want to talk to her?”
His mother was overjoyed. I mumbled a hello when he handed the phone to me. I was suddenly very tensed. I could not follow what his mother was saying as the tension grew. I returned the phone to Chetan.
I felt heaviness in my heart. I barely knew this man for a few days and I had committed myself to him. I wondered whether I should have asked him to go a bit slow. Considering that he had turned thirty, I could understand his haste. One part of me was deeply in love with him, but the other part wanted me to be careful.
By the time, he had finished talking to his mother I had cooled down. He looked so happy. He was on top of the world. He held my hand saying, “I am there with you. Everything will be alright.”
I returned to Pune (my home) the following day. We had decided that I would talk to my parents as soon as I reached home and would introduce him to them over the phone. He would take leave from work in the following week and would come home for a visit.
However, as soon as I reached home, my father came up to me and said that he had received a call from somebody called Pandit. “Chetan’s family is really very fast”, I thought. I told my father about what had happened in Goa.
As I spent more time with Chetan, the initial inhibitions left me. I could hear the bells ringing all the time. (A friend had once told me that you would hear bells ring when you meet the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with.)
Soon things were out of our hands and the two families took over. My father wanted us to have an engagement before marriage. Chetan’s mom was reluctant; she wanted us to get married as soon as possible. After initial arguments between the two families on when should they get us married, it was settled that we get married on nearest auspicious day.
There were many discussions about the wedding ceremony. I wanted a registered marriage. Chetan’s family and my parents wanted a traditional one. I finally agreed to a traditional marriage and decided that this is a once in a lifetime experience. I should simply enjoy the attention and let others enjoy too.
There were many discussions about the wedding ceremony. I wanted a registered marriage. Chetan’s family and my parents wanted a traditional one. I finally agreed to a traditional marriage and decided that this is a once in a lifetime experience. I should simply enjoy the attention and let others enjoy too.
Once the wedding date was set, Chetan started having jitters. During every phone call, he would say, “I am getting the jitters.” Yet, he could not get himself to think about calling things off. I was reading ‘Alchemist’ by Paulo Coelho around this time. We talked about good omens and the angels that had brought us together. We spoke about destiny and recollected the three days that we had spent together during New Years Eve. This made Chetan feel better.
“And they lived happily ever after”. This did not hold true for us. We had many tough and trying times. We had to work very hard to nurture our relationship. I was nowhere the traditional, orthodox kind of a wife, who would worship her husband and ignore all his follies. Having lived the life of a working bachelor for about ten years, Chetan too found it difficult to give up his bachelor ways.
We stuck together amidst all our fights and disappointments. We would fight and then make up and then fight again. Well, what can one expect when two Sagittarians born on the same date with a gap of five years between them get married to each other? Nevertheless, our love for each other grew with every fight. Our dependence on each other grew with every challenging moment. Our respect for each other grew as the years passed by.
We have recently celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary, have a wonderful family including our dog – Bono, our cat Begam, our two and a half year old son Aditya and are soon going to be blessed with another child.
© Sharmilagovande., all rights reserved.
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