Remembering Nagesh!!!
Nagesh, young boy of about 5 years would come running to us as soon as he would see us enter the observation home. His teeth shining like pearls on his pitch black face and his twinkling eyes were mesmerizing. One hug and a kiss on his cheek followed by a story would make his day. After listening to the story, he would be off feeling very happy and content.
It was my first year in the MSW course. Every student had to put in 20 hours of fieldwork every week and since I had voiced that I wanted to work with children, I was placed in the New and Additional Observation home – Mankhurd. This home run by the state government housed children from 3 – 12 years of age and had two sections – boys section and girls section. Boys between 3 – 6 years were kept in the girls section as the home authorities felt that they needed the tender loving care of the older girls.
My field partner was a young girl from Nepal. She seemed very weird to me, with her dressing sense, her features, her Americanized accent, her knowledge of Sanskrit and Hindi and her vagabond ways. I often wished that I had a better field partner, someone I would relate to, someone with whom my wavelength matched. However could not do much about it and knew that I had to continue working with her for an entire year.
We both divided ourselves between the two sections. We mutually decided that I would work in the girls section and she in the boys section. We would meet during lunchtime and travel together. We religiously followed our agreement; however, we could never strike a lasting conversation and would often have silence to accompany us.
What changed the equations between us and brought us closer was this little boy Nagesh. I introduced Subina to Nagesh during one of our fieldwork days, when Nagesh was wandering in the boys section as we entered the home. He came running to me smiling impishly. I gave him the customary hug and a kiss. He turned to Subina and asked me in his broken hindi, “Didi kaun?” (Didi who is she?).
Subina sat down on her knees and said, “Mai bhi Didi.”(I am also a didi). Nagesh and Subina hit it off immediately and they both started chatting and playing together. I almost felt very envious, as now I would have to share Nagesh’s attention. I let them continue; warning Nagesh that he was not allowed in this section and went on to check on the work kept for me by the manager.
Subina and Nagesh grew fond of each other and Subina took special permission from the manager to let Nagesh attend all her story sessions with the boys. Meanwhile, I was given the task of case updation in the girls section, which meant I had to counsel girls and keep their records up to date.
It was I think the fourth month of fieldwork. We were familiar with everybody in the home and were now comfortably settled in our workplace. Everybody greeted us with a smile, often joked with us and sometimes shared their woes.
We walked in the home and were disappointed that Nagesh wasn’t waiting for us. Nagesh is growing up. Probably, he is engrossed in something else today. I thought.
As we were walking one of boys came running to us and said, “Nagesh ko kal raat hospital leke gaye.” (Nagesh was taken to the hospital yesterday).
On hearing this, we both ran to the manager’s office. We were in a shock. Nagesh was looking very healthy last week and now suddenly we hear he is the hospital.
On enquiring about him, the manager said, “Nagesh very often complained about a stomach ache. We always felt it was gas and gave him antacids. Last Sunday, he complained once again, the antacid did not help, and hence we took him to a nearby clinic for an xray. The xray revealed a tumour in his stomach. He was admitted to KEM. He is in the ICU right now. You both should go visit him. He was asking for you.”
We decided to go immediately. For the first time during our journey to the hospital we spoke to each other endlessly. We recalled all the moments we had spent with Nagesh. We talked about how God is mean and makes the good ones suffer. We shuddered at the thought that Nagesh was all alone in the ICU without his mother or any loving person to take care of him.
Since he was in the ICU we weren’t allowed inside. From the see hole, we saw him covered with tubes all over. “Difficult”, the sister said. “Nagesh has a malignant tumour in his stomach. The tumor is fast spreading to other parts. He is not going to live, she continued.”
We were both in tears. We fought our tears while we walked out of the hospital. We both found an empty bench outside the hospital and sat down. This time, we both became very quiet. Our eyes spoke a lot though. I could feel the pain that Subina was going through. I felt that she could feel my pain too. After a while, I said lets go. We did not go back to work that day. However, each went on our own way. I went to the temple to pray for Nagesh on my way back home.
The next day, as we reached the observation home, the manager called us in and said, “Nagesh died yesterday night. Since he was an orphan, his body is with the coroner’s court. We have to go to the coroner’s court and ensure that Nagesh gets a decent burial. We also have to collect his death certificate.” We both just nodded to her.
The coroner’s court was a strange and eerie place. The place smelt of death and was very frightful. The manager went up to collect Nagesh’s death certificate and papers. She wanted to take custody of his body. However, the authorities refused. There were some bitter words between the manager and the authorities. Finally, she gave up. She walked toward us saying, “The body is now a property of the court. They will dispose it in their electric burial. There is some confusion over the religion of Nagesh. Nobody knows whether he was a Hindu, a Muslim, or a Christian. All that they will give us is his death certificate.”
She became silent for a while. We could see her fighting her own tears. After a while she looked at us and said, “You are very young and naïve. There is so much that you have to learn.”
We collected his death certificate and went away with many questions, with many emotions filling our minds. One thought kept recurring in my head, “Nagesh was lucky to have left this big bad world so early in life. He would have died a hundred deaths if would have lived – Only the good die young.”
Subina too was thinking the same. When we met again the following day, Subina could talk about nothing else but Nagesh. She voiced what I had thought about the earlier day. We both held each other and cried our hearts full.
Hope Nagesh rests in peace!
God bless his soul!!!
Hope Nagesh rests in peace!
God bless his soul!!!
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