The waiting period!!!
I remember there have been occasions when I have felt that time just rushes past and have always wanted time to be at a standstill when I do not want the moment to pass.
Now here I am fed up of waiting. This is my last month of pregnancy and now I want time to fly. I am eagerly waiting to hold the baby in my arms, to finally know whether it is a girl or a boy, to share the feeling of pride and joy with Chetan – the co creator of the baby. I want to see my older son and nephew jump with joy on becoming the “big brothers”, to have someone to love, to care for and to bully too.
I have become so heavy, I walk like Donald duck, have difficulty sitting or sleeping in any position for a long time. I get tired very quickly and cannot do all the things that I want to – sleep on my back, run around and play catch or hide and seek with my son, eat papaya, have a glass of wine. My eyes strain if I see too much of TV or read continuously or surf the net for a long time.
The growing heat adds to my impatience. The baby center website, which gives me a weekly update on my pregnancy, has stated that I will feel the heat more than the others will and I will sweat more. It also says that I should not worry about this and should pamper myself by having lots of fluids – fruit juices, coconut water and cold milk.
Drinking too much fluid adds to the already existing increased pressure on the bladder and results in frequent visits to the loo. I often feel that I spend more time in the loo than outside.
I think the baby too is getting impatient as she squirms and kicks all the time. She is getting herself ready with her head positioned downward. She also pushes herself downward – making me feel that she too wants to come out and be part of everything that goes on outside.
Chetan never misses a chance to remind me that life would never be the same after the baby is born and then I will once again yearn for some peace and quiet. He says my days will be filled with feeding, changing diapers, washing baby clothes and not to mention spending the little free time with my older son who is yet too small – unless I want to sow the seeds of sibling rivalry. I know he is right, but alas, one always feels that the grass is greener on the other side.
So here, I am waiting eagerly for the Day to arrive, for me to be relieved of this weight, to be able to do everything I want to. Everyday I look at the calendar, count the days, and tell myself, “the arrival of the baby will make me feel – that it was worth waiting”. The thought of tiny little hands, bright eyes, and the chuckling sound make me smile. The thought of my older son fussing around the baby, telling her stories, helping me clean her and change her make me wish that I could fast forward this last month and start the new phase of my life – of being a mother to two children.
© Sharmilagovande., all rights reserved.
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